From DaKota

To be honest, if I met you, Seán, I would either cry, run away, ir have a panic attack. You are my idol. You give me ideas, you give me spirit, you give me energy and life. But I always think bad of myself. I always believed that me meeting you would only be a waste of time for you. I do n't know why. But I believed you wouldn't care. I don't know why. That's why I would run away. That's why I'm scared.

I'm scared of judgement. Especially with my friends, my family, little children, adults, elders, and my idols. Im scared!

If I want attention, I think im selfish. I want you to notice me, the consequences in my head though. They hurt. Every smile, every laugh. Everyone deserves it. Everyone does. But why do I feel like if you gave me a single smile, I feel guilty? That smile sent to me, it could have gone to someone else who really deserves it. Not me.

What should I do, Seán?